Cromer avoids death by satellite

Not making this up ...

The British government says a sizeable chunk of the poison satellite of death will hit the earth at 5.30pm GMT today (12.30 Eastern). They expect it to hit somewhere in the South Atlantic, but are a little bit concerned that it might end up crashing into the picturesque seaside village of Cromer in Norfolk - they’re worried enough to have informed the local emergency services…

This is Cromer described as a "lovely hobbiton" in my US source full of "quaint, thatched-roof cottages" and something to do with "wicket goblins" (a Potter reference I believe). Oh those charming Americans!

If only. It's actually a depressed seaside resort town with a drugs problem and seafront bed'n'breakfasts full of displaced asylum seekers. The pier area's been tarted up but the Victorian Gothic hotels behind desperately need a lick of paint.

The 'quaint' (rich) bit of North Norfolk starts further up the coast.